The chances are that most of us have been hurt,
used or betrayed in the past... or have been the one that have broken someone else's heart. Either way, relationships are meant to teach us valuable lessons about how best to treat ourselves, our loved ones and our acquaintances in life.

Every relationship we encounter in life will provide us with either a blessing or a lesson and if it's a lesson that we need to learn, there is the opportunity for vital growth. A lot of people view failure as a negative thing but if we look back our life it's usually our failures that give us the chance to re-evaluate our lives for the better and make positive changes.

HERE ARE 4   OF THE MOST USEFUL LESSONS YOU CAN LEARN FROM FAILED RELATIONSHIPS:


1. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FACE REALITY IN REALITY!

There are the way things are and there is the way you might want a situation to be. That guy or girl you like isn’t always going to like you back, you might be the only single one in your social group and you may have many dating disasters before you find your soul-mate. That’s life! Running away from the reality of a situation isn’t going to make that problem go away. The best way to deal with the negatives that life throws at you is to change how you react and feel about a situation. You have the choice to become bitter and angry about your past or current situation or you can let it go and focus on the good things you do have in life. Start building a future you want to live in.

Have you ever tried to kid yourself that someone did really like you (when you knew deep down they didn’t!) because facing the reality of the situation was way too painful? How much time, energy and heartache did you waste when you could have been out there enjoying life and living it to the fullest?
Learn from failed relationships - heartbreakPhoto: Everton Vila


2. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. YOU CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

Failed relationships give you the opportunity to ask yourself what needs to change within you to attract the partner you really want? If someone wasn’t treating you right and subsequently broke up with you, why did you let them treat you like that? Do you need to work on your self-love, self-worth or confidence?


3. HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY - BOTH WITH YOURSELF AND A PARTNER

Almost everyone has been hurt at some point because of a secret, a lie or something that wasn’t fully communicated. In every relationship, there will be times when you have to have that difficult talk but honesty opens the path for true love, trust and intimacy. If you have ever been dishonest with yourself or an ex, think about why you felt the need to lie? Do you need to increase your self-esteem and self-worth, or has lying become the norm to you?


4. LOVE IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE

You can choose to hate an ex for something they may have done wrong, or you can wish them love, happiness and peace. When you choose love over fear, anger and resentment, you open up the pathway for more love to enter your own life. If we live in a state of bitterness and regret over the past, we can block new relationships from entering our lives. If you look back to past relationships, there may have been times you could have chosen to be more loving, supportive and kind to your partner. Can you take this idea into your next relationship and make the conscious effort and devotion to choose love?

Interested in reading more? Check out some our book recommendations:

 

The 5 love languages - book recommendations The secret - book recommendation Men are from mars - book recommendation

Why men love bitches - book recommendation Act like a lady think like a man - book recommendatioon 100 simple secrets of great relationships - book recommendation

 

Charlotte Lewis, The Love Life Agency Founder and Relationship Expert

Photo: Brigitte Tohm
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