I know this girl – let’s call her Bronte. Bronte is the kind of girl that always has a boyfriend. In a sea of losers, and in a city where most men Bronte’s age want to date someone 20 years younger, Bronte always has a date. Whilst stuck at home on a Saturday night, her single group of friends discuss how ‘lucky’ Bronte is – how she must have some secret power, or perverted sex trick that allures every half-decent, solvent, straight guy her way.
We all know a Bronte. We call them the ‘lucky ones’ – and occasionally, when we are feeling particularly small and unloved, we envy them their good fortune. And (maybe) we secretly wish a little less of it for them and a little more of it for ourselves.
Truth is, luck is not just about chance and magic – there is an actual science to it. Which means, by following a few simple steps (courtesy of Eric Barker), that YOU can start being luckier. That YOU can be the type of person who gets all the good stuff. That YOU, my friend, can be a Bronte.
HAVE A GO
Nothing new or exciting is going to happen if you spend your life on the sofa. In Richard Wiseman’s large scale study on luck, he found the ones who got more of it actively sought out and seized more opportunities. This often comes down to our default saying – some of us are naturally ‘Yes’ people, and some of us are ‘Nah, I’d rather not risk it/can’t be bothered/stay safe’ people. Which also explains why extroverts tested as ‘luckier’. Makes sense really – the more outgoing you are, the bigger your social network is likely to be, the more opportunities that will come your way and the more confident you might be to accept them. Thankfully, even if you are more of an introvert and your natural inclination is to be afraid of change, by adopting more extroverted qualities (fake it baby!) you get the same benefit.
TRUST YOUR GUT
Intuition was another big factor in the luck study. ‘Almost 90% of lucky people said they trusted their intuition when it came to personal relationships, and almost 80% said it played a vital role in their career choices.’ Trusting yourself, if this does not come naturally can take practice, but the more you begin to notice and act on your intuition, the more intuitive you will become. I am aware meditation is offered as the cure-all for everything – but messages from your intuition tend to be quiet – so spending a few moments every day in silence could help you hear these messages better.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but having a glass half-full mentality does work. ‘On average, lucky people thought that there was about a 90 percent chance of having a great time on their next holiday, (and) an 84 percent chance of achieving at least one of their lifetime ambitions’. Don’t forget – Your brain believes what you tell it the most. So, trying to adopt a sense of optimism about your life and about good things coming your way, will increase the chance of it being true. It also circles back to the point about ‘having a go’, as ‘You’re more likely to try new things, follow through on opportunities and have them succeed if you believe they will work out well.’
DUST YOURSELF OFF
Bad stuff happens to the best of us. Difference is, the ‘lucky’ people tend to dwell less – they simply mess up, dust off and move on. Again – makes sense. You are hardly going to see, or be open to new opportunities if you are overthinking yourself in to a frenzy over every failed interview, relationship or new venture you have. You might find it useful to think of your mistakes in the same way as a scientist views failure. If they mix x with y and it doesn’t cure cancer, they just note that down and move on the next equation. Optimism was again evident in the study findings around bad luck, with the lucky people believing ‘that any ill fortune in their lives will, in the long run, work out for the best.’
So, my friend, go forth boldly into each and every day. Tell yourself wonderful things are going to happen to you. And when the occasional crap comes your way, tell yourself that your wonderful things may just be taking a little longer to show up.
And as for my friend Bronte? Well, when I asked her what the secret was to her ‘luck’ with men – she concured with much of the advice above. She said that she just kept kissing every toad that came her way, didn’t worry too much if they were not ‘the one’ and was optimistic that one day soon her prince would come.
By Charlotte Sherston - For more self-help with a side of sarcasm head to Thin.Rich.Happy